Opera Stories

Al's Opera Stories

The Loquacious Soprano Tax Client

This young soprano was just launching into an international career. She had a little pied a Terre in San Francisco and shared small apartments in New York and London with other people. She had engagements all over the place and came to me for taxes. She intoned, in a Brunhildesqe voice. “I’m from Sweden. My mother lives in Barcelona, my fiancé lives in Tel Aviv, most of my relatives live in Sweden. Telephone bills are killing me. What with keeping up with my family, opera house managers and my agent the phone bills run over $500 a month.”

“That’s ridiculous. Why don’t you use e-mail?” I responded. “My family doesn’t have computers” she tried to explain. “Surely it would be cheaper for you to BUY computers for members of your family?” I stated. Finally she said “I don’t think that would work, do you have any OTHER suggestions?”

I took a deep breath “Why don’t you consider
having your jaw wired?”

“Wonderful.” She responded. “Do you think that would help me with my weight problem?” ..... “I think so? It should be a two fer.”

As you can tell she had a terrific sense of humor and shortly after abandoned the
itinerant life of an opera singer for the itinerant life of a stand up comic. Maybe she
lived happily ever after? Who knows?

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04.10.09